"working on my faults and cracks..."


gol' dang bodagget

Japanese is a very unique language because actual swearing--or equivalents to what George Carlin would have typically referred to as the Seven Deadly Words, for all intents and purposes do not exist. So the translation of cuss words into Japanese can be a tricky multi-step process first requiring a "dumbing down" of the base language, careful contextual approximation, then an educated guess, or re-application depending on the desired severity of the target language. By the time the process is complete, outside the speaker's tone and inflection, there is usually precious little remaining of the statement's original intent.

Granted, while even the average Japanese layperson is already familiar with a certain four letter word rhyming with 'duck' (somewhat taboo in Japan, based mostly on hearsay), the English language is home to a whole library of other salty vernacular delights that can deftly escape even the most thorough of J/E translators. Which, as you could imagine, allow me unabashedly free passage with a great deal of coarse language that shouldn't otherwise go tolerated anywhere outside Japan.

To illustrate,

I say: "What!? The copier dicked up my framing again!! Is there anything this heap of shit can't do completely wrong!?"
The other English teachers hear: "Indeed, the copier is sometimes a very disagreeable piece of office equipment!"

I say: "How does this little assclown think handing in a horse-shit burrito will ever pass for homework?"
They hear: "Students with Asberger Syndrome can often be very troublesome to work with."

I say
: "I would rather receive a root beer enema from Dr. Pepper than have to come in and teach your goddamn kids on my one, non-refundable day off!"
They hear: "I'm terribly sorry, but I can't come in today. I'm afraid I have other obligations."

I say
: "Where the f*** did I put my f***ing electronic dictionary? Not again! F***!"
They hear: "Where the f*** did I put my f***ing electronic dictionary? Not again! F***!"

Ok, so almost free passage. 

3 contributions to this piece:

Fonz said...

It worries me just a tiny bit as to how much truth there is in this post, and as a result how you conduct yourself

But I'm laughing too hard to really be concerned

Dagbert said...

Conduct myself?

You mean as a consummate professional? Pipe down, I see no reason for concern.

Fonz said...

I digress

you da man

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