Lead the angelic chorus with a baton wrapped in fear

News In Briefs
WYWS Edition
* Open your room window around 10:30 on a Wednesday night (EST), stick your head out, and listen carefully. Hear that? All the way from Japan--the greedy cackling sound as every last semblance of fun is being sucked out of music.
The kids weren't singing loud enough, so the homeroom teacher put them on the roof of the school to apparently teach them a lesson. Compassionately so, because I would assume that death from hurling oneself seven stories to the ground would be less painful than death by pure humiliation. Things in the classroom have gotten rather standoffish lately, most evident in my primary role having been further reduced from "dancing Western clown" to "white guy who scratches detention minutes on blackboard."

* To anyone who thinks their English is better than mine, between "more painless" and "less painful," which would you say is more appropriate? I went with the latter, because my gut says I don't actually need validation from your worthless opinion.
For whatever reason, my gut also says "Don't feed the pregnant lady."
Whoa, I bet that'd make a sweet t-shirt.

* In celebration of all the fantastic software finally being made available on the PS3 this week, I decided to give mine a promotion in sweet irony: from "kitchen traffic coordinator (doorstop)," to "desktop logistics manager (paperweight)." An amicable compromise for an amicably worthless machine.

* Sure, I may be working on Thanksgiving next week, and Gatzke Road may be 7000 miles away, but it matters little. I'll still find a comfortable trough to stand behind, and continue my longstanding tradition of putting food in my face until my lungs threaten to implode, after which I plan to move to the dessert table. Chopsticks, seaweed, and teriyaki notwithstanding, November 22nd is still on.
Like orphan Donkey Kong at a Denny's.

Proud to represent my America.

* This happened the other day. Kind of exciting. Scroll to the bottom for the most recent update.