"working on my faults and cracks..."


Million dollah decision

So here's how it stands. Guitar Hero II on November 7th. I've already reserved a copy, and intend to score the new demo disk this evening, to roll in the pre-launch pomp and circumstance. The GH community has been buzzing recently, what with MTV's acquisition of Harmonix (for 175 mill. in cash), which has bred further rumors of a Drum Hero and Lead Singer-type Hero game, and then some kind of unholy connectivity between all three. Granted they're just rumors, but with GH garnering as much mainstream attention as it has been, we're certainly in for some obnoxious crossovers. Dance Dance Revolution Extreme Omega Xcellent LOLOMFG Bronco Buster IV Remix anyone? Not me. God forbid GH ever gets to that. In the most unfortunate event that it does, two or three years down the line, remember that Matt and I were there before you. Do note the date and time--a full week before the game was supposed to officially launch. Tell your shit-eating little brother. Unless you are that shit-eating little brother. In which case, just take note I guess.
Anyway, I'll probably be having a GH party on or around the 7th. Whenever we can be the loudest and drink the most beer without having to worry about our new neighbor (weirdo) and classes the next morning. You're invited, but you'll probably just end up watch me and Matt act like idiots for the better part of an entire evening.

*"Fairly understandable reasons" = 1. Well, for starters, it's flipping retarded

Then, on November 17th, the big daddy PS3 drops. A drop so huge, you can bet that the pounding moment my cash hits the counter, the very foundations of hell will quake and shiver in terror. Also dropping will be my overall monetary value as a human being, but that's a drop I'm willing to work with. Honestly though, I don't care what you have to say. With the Sony marketing disasterminds allowing only two or three units per store, you can bet your goddamn ass that I'll be one of the two or three lucky nerds who waited overnight to help usher in the real next generation of gaming. The PS3 will be so hot, my apartment is in danger of getting set on fire. Seriously though, when all the sexy new technology gathers together under one hood for a sexy next-gen gaming party, shit just spontaneously combusts. I'm fully aware of the dangers. So aware in fact, that I've included a fire retardant suit on my recently updated Christmas list.
More on my latest quest...well...later I guess.

On a sidenote, you're adults! In college! You should know how to spell single syllable words by now! You should also be able to string together remotely coherent sentences! Those were in chapter two you morons! You know, right after learning how to pull your pants down before you take a shit. What the hell is wrong with you!? You should be ashamed of yourselves. Honestly...

3 contributions to this piece:

Valerie said...

So you're having a sexy party? That also happens to be a gaming nerd party?

That's quite a paradox you've worked yourself into m'boy.

Anonymous said...

New guitar hero!!Whoo! It's getting sexy in here!

Saori said...

New guitar hero!!Whoo! It's getting sexy in here!

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