"working on my faults and cracks..."

10.27.2006

Canon in D cup

We all know Rockstar games. Bully, that table tennis game, Grand Theft Auto, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, and so on, ad nauseam. But there's a demographic that they have really yet to tap--a demographic I wanna see tapped like a keg at a freshmen party first week of class.
See, the current problem with the GTA series is that it's like a Nickelback show; attracting only a single audience: white trash. Therefore turning off a lot of the more conservative "no Billy you can't have that game, I saw it on the television" parenting. The trick to appealing to these middle America parents, is to appeal to even their carnal lusts. Advertise a game where you can hijack semi trucks, drive in NASCAR minigames, shoot deer from a moving vehicle, go to Big & Rich concerts, and rip through the women's lingerie department in Wal-Mart on a Rascal scooter. Yes, white-trash GTA. Or more appropriately, "Grand Theft Auto: Redneck" where the only crimes in the game would be drinking any beer but Budweiser, not driving a Dodge pickup truck, watching Jean Reno movies, and driving the family tractor without asking paw-paw. Rockstar could take over the world if they can whet the redneck appitites for this kind of destructive and exhibitionistic* behavior. Pass the freedom fries, I smell a winner.
Still, good luck pitching it to the uppers.


*If this isn't a word, I'm making it one

1 contributions to this piece:

Valerie said...

Nickelback isn't THAT bad. Not as good as Breaking Benjamin, of course...oh, and speaking of BB, ixnay on the concert. Now that I drove my dad's truck into a cement wall, I have to rely on fixing up my POS car and thus, cannot afford concert tickets this millenium.

Balls.

 
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