the human race

Ok, here's how it's going to work:

On August 31st, Nike is holding the first global 10 kilometer race in 25 major cities around the world (Paris, Rome, Sao Paulo, Singapore, New York, Vancouver, etc.), to benefit the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF), the UN Refugee Agency, and Livestrong, with the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Their goal? Raise awareness, pimp their Nike+ system, and kick off a killer annual event. One million runners for 6.2 miles, on one day. Obviously since 40,000 participants per city is an impossibility (even the New York City Marathon cuts off at 37,000), runners not near an official city can still simultaneously participate wherever they are by running through their Nike+ system, and uploading their run by the end of the day.

All runners--those participating in an official race city, and those running on their own, still follow the same registration process (race city participants pay to register, but receive a race day packet):

Select your charity and your location...

...put together your race profile, and pledge a donation if you so choose...

...and start training, if you haven't already. The race site offers a plethora of options--compete against friends, in a pool against other countries (US vs. China), see who's fastest with which genre of music (rap vs. pop), or just use the site as a personal trainer as the race date grows closer and closer. You can even score the official race day gear that runners from race cities will be receiving in their packets.

The last step is to set up your own route. My Human Race will start along the Asahi River, cut through downtown Okayama City, swing around Momotaro Stadium, blow past the University of Okayama, then finish with a sprint up Handa Mountain--effectively combining all my regular short routes from the past year and a half, in one 40 minute fell swoop.

I'm running in Japan, for the United States (against China), and I've got friends and challengers in Brazil, and France, and I don't intend to lose.
Where are you running on the 31st?

The DI's Ten Rules to Keeping With Your Goals

Read my other top ten if you just started running. If you're already in the trenches though, use the following to keep your fanny from going soft:

10. Thou shalt remember that the first three workouts are fun. The next three are hell, and from then on, it will be an "invigorating drag."

9. Thou shalt exercise no fewer than three times per week. Any less, and you are a failure.

8. Thou shalt run where people can see you. For 30 minutes, 5 times a week, you're high on endorphines and they're not. Lazy assholes.

7. Thou shalt embrace your iPod as a close friend, and training partner. It may make you look like a douchebag in the grocery store, but it will save your life in the final 400 meters.

6. Thou shalt make a plan. Whether it's to run 5 miles without stopping, or to just get out five times a week, you have to give yourself something to work toward. Let me repeat myself. Thou shalt make a plan. I cannot stress enough, how important this is.

5. Thou shalt never assume that running two days in a row makes you exempt for three.
Stop being such an underachieving twat.

4. Thou shalt alter your routine. You cannot expect to continue developing results by spending three weeks on the same route, going the same distance, and performing the same reps. Your body will quickly adapt to the predictability, and find ways to cut corners.

3. Thou shalt lie to your body. Plan to run 2 miles, get dressed, stretch, and run three. If your brain expects the "next power line" to be the finish, run five more.

2. Thou shalt not use analogies referring to or containing the seizing of "the day", "bulls" and/or "horns" in vain. These are serious expressions, and not to be carelessly exploited for your pitiful and temporary motivation.

1. Thou shalt overcome temptation. The single hardest part of any workout is lacing up your shoes. Double those knots, and get your lazy arse out the front door.

Eye of the Badger

Next Sunday is the Hiruzen Marathon in northern Okayama. My first ever competitive footrace, and I'm so nervous, I chewed off all my fingernails just in writing this. My concerns are not in my ability to finish (as often the case with amateur pre-race jitters), but rather in how fast. I want to place well enough to justify continued training for the possibility of a full marathon early next year. Furthermore, I need to prove to myself that I'm not better off in a rocking chair on some porch, screaming for the personal nurse to change my colostomy bag.

But have I trained hard enough? Have I sucked down enough raw eggs? Have I run up enough sets of stairs to warrent air-humping to Eye of the Tiger? The race is held every year on the same mountain (5k up, 5k down), so fair enough. I've been training on my commute route--which, if you remember, requires ascending a goddamn mountain every morning. I've done sprints, I've done stairs, I've ran quick 5k's, I've ran 5k's in sets, I've ran 10k's, and I've ran the 16k loop to and from the shrine every Sunday morning with the team for the last month. I've run backwards and forwards, with weights, and without, in the rain, and in the blazing sun. Sometimes even, backwards with weights in the rain.

My fastest 5 and 10k times are not total shit, but I'm still nervous. I'd rather not be ready, for readiness implies an acceptance that I have reached my limit--that I cannot possibly run any faster. The problem, is that I'm sure I still can. I'm just not certain how to tap into this measure of speed; a measure which I had always believed required first being chased by a shotgun-toting badger riding an angry bear.

Shit. How the hell am I going to legally acquire both a shotgun, and a bear in just a week?

Thou Shalt Never Quit: The DI's Ten Commandments to Getting Started

Exercising sucks. Honestly, it blows ass. I'm not going to lie. If it weren't for the natural endorphine high (more on this later), I don't know why anyone would bother. I know I most certainly wouldn't. I like to think endorphines are God's way of subtly suggesting that getting and staying in shape is worth it. But you can't get in shape in three hours, three days, or even three weeks (if you suck bad enough). It takes time, and it takes effort. So I created a list to keep my lazy side in check, which I recently stapled it to my forehead--just for that extra reminder. Getting it tattooed would probably be less painful.
But not as awesome.

10. Thou shalt not try to set any world records during your first week. You are not Carl Lewis. And you are out of shape.

9. Thou shalt swallow your pride and run in sets. Rome wasn't conquered in a day. Same goes for that spare tire.

8. Thou shalt not cancel your workouts due to inclement weather. Just stay out from under the trees.

7. Thou shalt tie your shoelaces in double knots. There is no excuse pathetic enough to justify stopping to catch your breath.

6. Thou shalt not listen to "Eye of the Tiger" for motivation. The Cold War is over, and you are not Rocky Balboa. Tacky bitch.

5. Thou shalt reward yourself for achieving noteworthy milestones. With equipment. Food rewards are for the Weight Watchers.

4. Thou shalt not trivialize calories by counting them. You are not a supermodel. Besides, they fuel every mile you conquer.

3. Thou shalt start slow, and pace yourself. You should be comfortable at the two-minute mark, not ready to drop dead.

2. Thou shalt understand that only giant pussies exchange their "sore muscle" tokens at the loser wagon for extra days off. Soreness is progress, not some debilitating disease.

1. And for the last 400 meters, thou shalt run as though you are Carl Lewis. Don't worry, the delicious endorphines will numb the threatening taste of sour vomit.

Running out of turbo

*phone rings*

Uugh...*mumbles*...he...hello?

Uughh...I hate you...no, I'm not *hangs up*

*phone rings again*

*groans* Awww cripes...go die in an electrical fire already...*hangs up*

*phone rings a third time*

C'mon man, I can see my freaking breath! No! *hangs up*

*phone does not relent*

Ok! Ok! I'm up, goddammit!! I'm up! And just because I'm standing on two feet doesn't make me hate you any less for this..."


And so the wake-up calls went. I've had two running partners before, but only in the aforementioned case did we employ verbal abuse to actively harass each other into keeping our committment each morning. Motivation tactics to keep us running that worked fairly well for several weeks. Until the wakeup temperatures started falling below 30. Then below 20. We didn't last much longer.

Flash forward to now. Getting cussed out on the phone is no longer a motivation package option I have access to. I'll have to resort to different measures. Like moving to a new location--something that has always helped inspire me to bust out the running shoes and pound some new milage for about a month or two, until I've exhausted every possible route within 7 miles of my home base. I've been in Japan for almost four months now, and I reached that point about two weeks ago. After running up the river, down the river, across town, past the station, over the mountain, around the mountain, and every combination between involving the local park, I logged my 100th Okayama mile and decided to give myself a well-deserved two weeks off (while still cycling and playing ball in between). So, I've had my sabbatical fun, and now it's time to get back at it. Seeing as I needed new inspiration--a new motivational variety, I thought I'd try running in the morning, as I already get up too damn early anyway. So I set my alarm for 6:30 this morning (45 minutes earlier than usual)...and then proceeded to hit the 'snooze' button until my alarm clock gave up trying. I didn't even know the snooze feature ever gave up. Suffice to say, I overslept and was late for work. 100% counterproductive.

My running schedules have always been motivated by variety in outside forces (new equipment, new girlfriend, new location, new running partner, etc.). But I've run out of outside forces and need a new experimental strategy. So I've decided to bring my schedule, and my accountability to these posts, where I'll unobtrusively keep you updated as I go, regardless of whether or not you give a shit. And if you do happen to give a shit, and wouldn't mind getting your own wobbly form back into shape, I can't think of a better way, or time than now.

So, before I took my vacation--during which I consumed nothing but onigiri, fried chicken kebabs, melon breads, and an assload of beer avoided healthier alternatives like the plague, my fastest mile clocked in at 5:55--a modest time, with my average (for 5-7 mile runs) hovering around 6:15. Again, not olympic caliber speeds, but not "fat man on a treadmill" caliber numbers either. Unfortunately though, I'm sure they've since slipped back to the seven minute neighborhood by now. I'd love to post a 5:30 someday--a time that I know I've got it in me, but I just don't know what kind or how much urging it'll take to unleash.

Anyway, as far as methods go, since around November of last year, I've sworn by the highly motivating Nike+ system to keep my workouts and progress in line. So, here's the first month: a lazy 11 times in four weeks, half of which, will be heavy.

I got the ball rolling with a slow 5K yesterday. Only 4:18 min/km; but just enough for that delicious endorphine kick. Back to work.