"working on my faults and cracks..."

5.24.2007

Bring me your firstborn sons and daughters, so that I may flog them with English




Whether you choose to believe it or not, education is a lucrative business. And in Japan, a cutthroat one, at that. This week, while the students dutifully took their midterm exams, the other senior faculty members paraded me around to the city's elementary schools like a cheap whore, to pimp our flash-in-the-pan "immersion program (of which, I am at fault when it fails)," to potential winter applicants. After each round of predictable formalities, I sit quietly on the edge of each principal's couch gingerly sipping a scalding hot cup of green tea, as they carefully poke and prod my professional self worth.

"Our school has many interesting programs--art, science, music...but fuck those, English is the only one your students need! And so this is Zach-sensei!" they beam, as the pitch begins.
"He has started our English immersion program. And he is not from Canada," they add hopefully. Yes, I am not from Canada, but they are still lying about everything else. I stand up and curtsy anyway.
"And look! Such nice teeth and long hair!" I bat my eyelashes, and try my best to look demure.
"So...we'll see you next year?"

And then we'd be off again to the next sweltering den of educational iniquity. Never thought being a whore could be so tiring.



Training continues as the temperatures begin their annual summertime climb. This does not make me happy.
 
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