"working on my faults and cracks..."


I'd die for you once, but never again

A new Brand New record and the Playstation 3 in the same blog? Tell me lad, whatever is keeping my head from exploding?
Finally. It's here. I'd love to stay and tell you about how awesome it is, but that would take me away from fragging online in Resistance. The first thing everyone has said about it, is how positively massive it is. Indeed--just look at Frampton--a mere dwarf in all its towering might. I also threw in a can of "Sea Chicken" and the slimmer PS2 to help solidify the fact that the PS3 is positively ginormous. And another view from the top to show its overt "phatness" in comparison with the others. Also note the reflection of the wood flooring on its glowing face. Spellbinding...

I'd like to end this moment of admiration with a moment of silence for all the redneck asshats who tried to sell their PS3s on eBay, and ended up royally screwing themselves in the process--far too many to bother linking though. Some of the best stories include the dumbass who accidentally sold his under "buy it now" for 0.99, the reprobate who bought three PS1s for $900 instead of one PS3, and then the other 18,000 failures who never passed Business 101 (what happens when you flood the market with something valuable? Thank you Cletus--that's right! You kill its value!). "But Zach," you say, "I saw one go on eBay for 9 million dollars!" Yes, this is true. But it's also true that the winning bidder had no intention of paying, and just did it to bitterly fuck with the greedy bastard who was trying to sell it in the first place. Apparently, somebody even donated theirs to Taco Bell in exchange for 12,000 taco bucks (redeemable...where?). So in the end, as people were pitching their tents in front of giant electronic stores, getting shafted on eBay, doing the shafting on eBay, and getting rained on, robbed, mugged, urinated on, or shot whilst waiting in line, I casually strolled into Gamespot scored my system, walked out, and proceeded to play Resistance for 72 glorious hours. I'd just like to thank everybody for giving me something to laugh at in between TDM matches.

Before I say 'see you pooters on the other side of Thanksgiving,' let's take one last moment and wish a very special happy birthday to Mayumi Inoue who takes her incredible cuteness to the age of 20 today.

The devil and god are raging inside of me.

1 contributions to this piece:

Valerie said...

HOLY SHIT that motherfucker's huge.

It's not often I get to say that...


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