"working on my faults and cracks..."

11.08.2006

Bored out of my brains with 1000 paper cranes

So, it's Wednesday. I shouldn't be bothered with the fact that it's Wednesday at all--I've done days like this a billion times before. Sure it's another quiet hump day, but I've had those before, and that's still beside the fact. Maybe it's because I only slept a few minutes last night. Or maybe the real problem is that I'm still sitting here at work prepared to choke myself to a boredom-induced death. How boring is it here? Two of the mostly unintelligent line engineers (Old Deaf Bastard, and Turumi) that I translate for, have spent the last 30 minutes at my desk folding little squares of paper and arguing loudly.
About origami.

...

Yeah. Origami. You know, where you fold the paper into little whimsical shapes like birds and fish and puppy dogs. I wish they would fold me a handgun to shoot myself with, I'm so bored.

I also really really wish I would get more emails like this. Seriously, this shit is straight out of the Community Chest two squares before 'free parking'. "If you pass 'GO' while on your way to the business office, please collect $200." Anyway, by the time my spam blocker usually finishes tearing through the predictable fat blockers, penile enhancers, starving African countries, get-rich-quick schemes, and illicit marriage proposals, there isn't usually much left--let alone cash offerings. And legitimately free cash at that.

I think vampires and goths are hilarious. Mostly because the only time they're really in their 'element' is at blacklight rave parties, or in front of a camera in some low-light setting. Any other time, and it's just ridiculous. Like on Monday, how I saw a goth couple bickering over bananas at Wal-Mart. Pure hilarity. Almost as though Satan manifests himself in the pentagram on the guy's shirt twice a month for taco shells, snow peas, Dr. Pepper, and Ricola throat lozanges at the local grocery store. What a douche. Or what about the vampire waiting in line at Starbucks? Too much iron in your morning diet? Nothing a caramel latte can't fix, you pretentious underworld poser. No wonder you people are always complaining about not fitting in. Wipe that lo-fat whipped cream off your lip and get back to brooding under a staircase.

PS3 in 9 days now...

3 contributions to this piece:

Valerie said...

When are you coming to see the play? My prostitute costume is aMAzing!! ^_^

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