frank who?

punk rock wiener

Ever get the feeling that your wiener was trying too hard? That its efforts to go above and beyond your expectations were just coming off as phony and uninspired? Remember the days when a hot dog could just be a hot dog without having to be a "kosher turkey identity crisis nesting in a fresh-baked spelt bun and smothered in spicy chipotle daikon dressing?" 

Meet the defiant face of counter-evolution itself: the "super basic" dog. A dog so basic, it couldn't be bothered to be sold for more than a single coin. And why not? I mean, it comes in a sealed bag, for crissakes. Obviously, it spares every expense, proudly offering only the simplest of amenities: ketchup, mustard, and a professionally mediocre plain white bun. And even though I couldn't read all the ingredients on the back, I'm sure I would have been relieved to find that it was still ground out of the old super basic familiars: beef intestines and yak hooves.

I think there's even an inspiring lesson we could learn from humble wieners as confident as this: and that is by happily eschewing all the pretentious, overachieving bullshit, we just might find comfort in our own super basic pork-anus skin.