"working on my faults and cracks..."

7.22.2008

111 words of a poorly translated parent/teacher conference

"Yuya"


"Mrs. Tatukawa, it's your son. He has a problem."

"Oh dear!"

"Afraid so. Advanced far beyond current-gen treatments." 

"Proof?"

"Scores of it. Test scores and comprehensive behavioral studies all agree." 

"Agree on?"  

"They clearly indicate your son is a moron."


"Dear Lord... Medication?"

"Beyond a rolled-up newspaper or a plastic spray bottle? I'm afraid not."

"High school options? The entrance exams..."

"Options? Ma'am, did you not hear me? He won't be going."

"No... higher... education...?" 

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. Past cases have been prescribed limited social contact and a Nintendo Wii. Or euthanasia."

"And the legalities?" 

"Leave them to us. I'll just need the inkan. Yours, and your husband's." 


"Here and here." 


4 contributions to this piece:

Fonz said...

I lol'd
>_O

Dagbert said...

True story.

Valerie said...

If only parents were so understanding that their spawn is in fact, not an angel, but the scum around the toilet of life.

Dagbert said...

In an *ahem* "ideal" world.

 
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