"working on my faults and cracks..."

5.01.2007

If Columbus was wrong, I'd drive straight off the edge


Another batch of news snippets from the Asia-Pacific future. "Myujikku...sutaatto!"

News In Briefs:
WYWS Edition

* A mystery that has long since baffled the world's scientific community, is Okayama prefecture's existance as one of the globe's last remaining self-sustaining sausage-fest societies. So you can imagine my surprise when I found myself standing behind a pregnant lady a few days ago while patiently waiting in line for fresh takoyaki. And then, just yesterday, I saw another pregnant lady licking a green ice cream cone and walking a weiner dog in a diaper. I know, I know, who gives a flaming sack of crap, right? But given Japan's dangerously low birth rate, I thought that more than two pregnancies at the same time in Okayama was some kind of incredible omen. In hopes that a rift to an alternate universe had been somehow torn open, I bought a lottery ticket. And a fried-chicken-on-a-stick. Of course I lost (and ate the chicken, respectively), but there might have just been a third pregnant chick holding out on me.
Anyway, sausage parties be damned, there are apparently women here getting pregnant. Holy crap.

* My apartment is finally online. After three months of commuting to the library to check email, post snarky thread replies, and download Gary Jules, I'm finally connected. And so is my PS3. God be praised. I wasted most of yesterday updating all my firmware, downloading demos (Ninja Gaiden: Sigma, Armored Core: 4), and at last getting re-acquainted with some old "friends."

* Worried that all the rice and instant noodles weren't pumping enough fiber in my regular diet, in search of a "magic bullet" injection yesterday, I pounded back an entire box (450 delicious grams) of silly British humor, in a single (one box typically lasts me about four or five days), drawn-out sitting between Resistance load screens. 24 hours later, I now find myself worried that my fiber doesn't have enough regular diet in it. Gastric repercussions aside, I have a new addiction in the form of these curious little chocolate pellets. And if they weren't so damned expensive at the import shop, I think I've got the trappings for a potentially legendary Weetabix challenge. Makin' it neat wheat. Biyatch.

* As of this post, we ('we,' being myself, and the rest of the country) are officially on vacation for a week. A 'golden' week, to be more precise; during which, I have places to go, and things to do--most of which though, rhyme with "Playstation 3." One of them actually rhymes with "Osaka," and maybe another with "cycling in Shikoku," but for the most part, I'm pretty sure it's just "Playstation 3."

* The seat on my crappy grandma bicycle is broken. I know this because when I wake up every morning, there is a raging ache in my taint--like I just made it to the final round of a grueling RoShamBo tournament, and lost to an Australian Nova teacher on his third pitcher. That, and it pokes me in the balls.

* Here's a random photograph that found its way on to my camera while on my way home from the used furnature store few weekends back. The little girl innocently asks "I wonder what's different?" The little boy doesn't seem to be of much help in solving the problem. And honestly, I don't think have a friggin' clue either.

* Oh, and one final note. I'm going to watch Spider Man 3 tonight. Yes, in a movie theater. Yes, before you. Yes, in English, And yes, before everyone else in the United States. Now let that sink in a little as I go find my Spidey mitts.

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